Hello Everyone!

I've been M.I.A for awhile due to all kinds of things! Did I mention I work as a nanny? To a 2 and 4 year old and a newborn on the way. Literally on the way! My boss went into preterm labor and although they finally stopped it, she is stuck in the hospital for 4 weeks or until the baby delivers. On top of that I love my job and I love the kids I watch, but I really get paid absolutely crap. So I started looking for a new job, but still along the lines of nannying. Well I got a call today! But its such bad timing! How could I leave my job when my boss has all of this other stuff going on? But then its such a great opportunity. I'm in such a mess and only have a few days to decide what to do. Yes, I made a committment to the family I'm with, but I've been with them a year and just can't fathom the pay anymore. It is really really bad. We will just put it like this each week I can fill up my car (altima), buy bread, milk, eggs, and a pack of sprite for the ttc lady that's going crazy without caffeine. The bad thing is I'm not even exagerrating. Any advice? Anyone? I'm Screwed! Yeah that's what I thought too. Did I mention that my fiance wants to get another dog? Yes another dang dog! He thinks that another lab puppy to keep our puppy company will be perfect. Hello! Does he even stop to think that we live in a one bedroom apartment on the 3rd floor??? Oh well, it may make for some interesting stories. We also have a big move coming up to another city at the end of the year. Which will finally give us a reason to get a house with a YARD for our pups. Also this means room to breathe and not step on eachother and best of all our home won't look like a storage unit anymore. To be honest we are just outgrowing our little apartment. Oh and to add to all the chaos I'M SOOOO NAUSEOUS! It is still a little early to test, but i might actually be preggo! I will definitely keep ya'll updated. I thought this blog was going to be my journey to ttc, but I think it may end up being my journey through pregnancy faster than I thought! YAYYY!

Distractions

So, I'm definitely trying to distract myself from the 2ww. I got to thinking about me and hubby's wedding. As ya'll know it is non existent at this point. It's not because we aren't committed or don't love eachother enough or don't want to spend the rest of our lives together and blah blah blah. That's not it at all. We have planned 3 dates so far, but it's just such an overwhelming process. To top it all off it is the hardest thing to plan a date. The Army doesn't make it very easy to plan a wedding which is why all of our dates except one have been rescheduled. There's bootcamps and AIT's and weekend meets and all kinds of things that absolutely are mandatory. Now that he is reserves though I think that maybe we can finally plan something. Now as for the exception, we planned a date to elope on Christmas Day ata beautiful, quiet, amazing bed & breakfast in the hill country. Now your wondering why we canceled right? Wait for it....PARENTS! Mine of course not his. See my parents would absolutely die if I eloped. I understand I really do, no matter how old I am I'm still the baby girl. But come on like I don't have enough to plan around....my parents live out of the country. It isn't easy to plan a wedding when your parents come home 1-2 times a year and have their entire vaca home planned out right down to the restaraunts they are going to eat at. So now me and hubby have discussed a destination wedding again. We could always go out of the country for our wedding, but once again you deal with timing. Work, school, Army, oilfield, dog, maybe baby, and the list keeps on going. Hmmm...what to do? I guess it's time for some new research to be done. Oh, on the upside my tire is getting taken care of as we speak. Just in time for work tomorrow, dang it.

Good Morning All!

I guess the correct term for this would be good afternoon. Last night we went to a friend's house for a BBQ. While the food was good, I was just really excited to see their newborn baby. She is absolutely the cutest little thing. On the bad side of things I came home to find a flat tire on my car. Just perfect, exactly what I need. So now today I am stuck at home while the hubby is at work till late tonight. So, I foresee one of two things happening: 1. I will be posting all day or 2. This will be my only post due to nothing of importance happening. Either way it's a good excuse to have a lazy day. The house is clean, no dinner to be cooked, and no laundry to be done. Maybe all that hoping for a few extra minutes to sleep really has payed off. Of course the puppy is still here. He's not having accidents anymore, BUT he just insists on eating the puppy pads instead of pottying on them. Ughhhh. My hunny promises to get training classes for him a.s.a.p. The most exciting news of this entire blog we are playing the waiting game. I am so impatient. I'm starting to wonder if that is why God sent me a dog. To work on my patience? Hmmm...well as of today it is not my strongest virtue. However, maybe baby?!

A little more sharing...

Well, I've already posted today, but there are a few more things I'd like to share. My second reason for my new found blogging interest is debuting and keeping up to date my potential pregnancy. Yes, we've already talked about the brand new dog and the waiting till I'm 35, but it is just not enough. I promise to make this part of my blog short and sweet because it isn't the laughs that I promised you. We had a miscarriage in October 2009. It was very heartbreaking and it is a feeling that never goes away. However, after all of this time we have come to the decision to try again. We will see what happens, but we are praying for our little bundle of joy to grace our presence soon. This is our first month TTC (trying to conceive). So we still have awhile till we figure anything out, but I'm hoping that my readers will become somewhat of a support system through this whole thing because God knows I'm gonna need it. While once again I have my loving fiance sometimes I need a different kind of support from some understanding women. Now I do have some close girlfriends, but let's not forget I'm only nineteen and my close friends aren't exactly on the same page as I am in life. (See short and sweet like I said, now on to the lighter side of things.) I honestly don't like to throw my age out into the open too much due to hypocracy and judgement. However, as a little promise to myself, I am devouring this blog with truth and honesty. I figure hey if you don't like what I have to say then noone is forcing you to read it. I am young, but that doesn't make me any less likely to succeed in my engagement, quest to motherhood, or any other part of my life.

The Beginning

So, this marks my first blog post...EVER. I quit smoking recently so this is my attempt at relieving a little stress. If that doesn't work well at least ya'll will get some good laughs. I'm a nineteen year old college student trying to make the world of a thirty year old mesh together. I have a fiance who I've been with since we were 15. Five years and still in love. However, just like everyone's relationships it isn't all lovey dovey all the time. We've been through a lot together and are latest addition to our little family is our new yellow lab puppy. He is so cute (I'll post pics when I figure out how too) , but such a mess. I can't seem to clean up fast enough. Everyone keeps telling me well if you think that is hard, babies are 10x harder than that which is why you need to wait till your 35 to have any. Uh huh 35? Not happening. Honestly at this point I think that a baby is easier. You don't have to search for shoes and a leash, stumble down 3 flights of stairs, dodge the drunk partiers, and wait for the puppy to potty at 3 a.m. with a baby. Did I mention my dog is scared of walking up the stairs? So, we can add carrying him to that list of dreaded things to do everynight. Of course, there is always my oh so loving fiance to help out with that. HA! That was funny. Apparently his job as an Army Reservist and a oilfield worker is more important than my attendance of school and my nannying job at 3 a.m. I don't blame him. If I could stand listening to the dog whining I'd just lay there and pretend to be asleep too. Gosh, being a guy is so easy. Maybe between now and my next post, I can convince him to at least turn on the shower in the morning so I can sleep just a few seconds longer to make up for the dog causing me sleep deprivation. Yeah, yeah I know it probably will be the other around. Oh well, I guess that's just the life of being 19 going on 30.